Being a mommy is not easy. Especially when you’re dealing with depression. I can remember the mornings when I hated getting out of bed because I knew that I was going to have to deal with my kids another day and I didn’t want to.
It wasn’t because our kids were bad, it was just that I didn’t want to be bothered. I was avoiding being with our kids at all costs in the evening because I was at home all day. Oh, did I mention I homeschooled? So yeah, it was rough.
Getting through the day without wanting to put the kids out of the house was a victory for me. Our kids were little too, both under five. It wasn’t our kids that needed to be fixed, it was me. I needed to get out of the funk I was in and be a good mommy again.
After going through almost two weeks of being tired, angry, and feeling helpless, I realized that I was depressed. It was a feeling that I felt guilty about because I wanted to be there for our children without being bogged down. I felt responsible for being depressed because I felt an obligation to stay healthy for our children. I was flooded with even more guilt on top of the guilt I already had.
Fortunately, I could realize that something was not right with me before it got out of hand.
Here’s how you can know if you may be depressed:
You Yell a Lot
Whenever you find your voice gone or cracking at the end of the day, you may have the serious blues. I know that I don’t personally yell a lot because it’s just not in my personality, and other mommies may yell a lot because it’s in their personalities to yell. It’s really all about how often and what it’s about. If you find yourself yelling at your kids because they sneezed too loud or they just made a likely child mistake of forgetting to clean up their rooms, you may be depressed. If your kids are in school and they come home and all you do is yell at them from the time they come in the door you may have a problem. Raising your voice every now and then is okay when you are trying to get their attention or calling them from another room in the house (I think us mommies have all done it). But when you are constantly yelling at your children, especially mean things, you may be extremely unhappy and possibly depressed.
You Would Rather Sit in the Bathroom Than Be with Your Kids
I’ve honestly done this a lot. I still do this sometimes (don’t tell our kids or my husband). You know the extra few minutes you take just sitting on the toilet to get some peace and quiet. For me, this is a must some days. The bathroom can be the only escape for some of us mommies. It becomes a problem though when you find yourself always wanting to get away to take a “bathroom break”. When you constantly are waiting for the opportunity to escape from your kids, you may have a more serious problem.
You Hate Getting Out of Bed in Morning Because of Your Kids
Rolling over to grudgingly get out of bed may be another red flag. You find yourself always hating to see that sunshine in the early morning or hear your alarm clock go off. You may even find yourself making excuses why you shouldn’t get out of bed, like suddenly becoming sick. It could be that you just don’t want to deal with your children. Hurrying to put them in the bed at night hoping morning will come two days later is something to consider. If you have always been a morning person, then you may be a depressed mommy. On the other hand, if you are not a morning person (I am not), if you are relentlessly trying to pull yourself out of bed in the morning and you just can’t you may be depressed.
Your Kids Are in Trouble ALL the Time
Being a disciplinarian is okay sometimes, but when your children are always in time out, sent to their rooms or on punishment it may be time to assess yourself. I know that kids can do things that get them in trouble sometimes, that’s normal. It’s just when they are in trouble just because you’re in a bad mood. It may be something big if you are constantly sending them to their rooms or they’re constantly on punishment because or some minor thing or you’re just flat out tired. This can be especially true if your children are usually on good behavior.
You Always End Up Frustrated at the End of the Day
At the end of the day when you are lying in the bed about to cry because you are just so angry, make sure that hasn’t happened for the last two weeks. If so, it may be something bigger than just exhaustion or daily frustration. You can tell if you’re laying down and have just barely gotten through the day with your patience totally depleted. It’s normal when you have had a rough day and you just want to go to sleep. But when everyday becomes a bad day it’s something to consider.
If one or more of those described you, don’t feel bad. I’ve been there too. It’s normal to have those feelings. When I went through that depressed state it was rough, but I took notice of my emotions and learned my body. I took the time to figure out what I could do to get out the terrible place I was in.
Here’s what you can do:
Talk to Your Husband or Significant Other
Let them know how you are feeling, most of the time they already know but are just unsure of what to do. Once you tell them you can work together to figure out how to fix things.
Take a Day Off
This only applies if you have the days to use or if you are a homeschool mom. It’s okay to take a day off in the middle of the week to get yourself together as long as you use the time wisely. Vacations are necessary, even if you think you’re a robot.
Spend Time with the People You Love
Sometimes we just need to spend time with the people that know us best. I know that talking to my Mommy or Granny helps me sometimes. I may even talk to my aunts or cousins. It doesn’t matter who it is sometimes. If they live close then you should visit them. If you can’t see them face to face, calling them is okay too.
Check Your Diet
If all you’ve been eating is fried foods and sweets then you probably need to change that. It’s okay to treat yourself every once and a while especially around holidays. But when all you are eating is fast food, processed food and sugary treats you might need to consider making some changes.
Pray About It
For me this was important. Taking time out to pray has been a huge part on getting my mind on track. Getting guidance from God is major when you don’t know what to do. If you don’t know how to pray get with someone or a group who does. I also have a free devotional below to get you started.
Have you ever been a depressed mommy? What do you do when you’re depressed? Comment below 🙂
Important Note: I am not a certified and trained professional. All wellness coaching plans and all information and services provided by and/or facilitated by me are not a substitute for counseling and/or therapy from a trained and certified mental health professional, consultation from a trained and certified medical doctor, and/or consultation from a trained and certified nutritionist/dietitian. None of the wellness coaching plans and any information provided have been evaluated by the FDA and are used to diagnose or treat any illness. I urge you to seek professional help from a certified and trained professional if you are in an immediate crisis or suicidal. And if you are currently being seen by a trained and certified mental health professional, make sure to share all information about any courses you are taking, and coaching services provided by me or any other business/coach.If you or someone you know is in an immediate crisis, get help by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or visit The International Association for Suicide Prevention (www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) to be connected to a trained counselor at a crisis center nearby.